Once you have found a good doctor (see Doctors Part 1 for thoughts on finding doctors), how can you make sure that you get the best help from that doctor (or doctors). Here are a few thoughts collected from our experiences working with many people over the years –
1. Plan ahead. It is almost always a good idea to have an agenda before you go in to see your doctor. Ask your doctor if they want to get a copy before the session and then email or fax it in. But even if they don’t want a copy, make one for yourself and bring it in.
2. Keep track. One of the hardest things for a doctor is figuring out in a relatively short visit what has been going on since the last time you saw a patient. It is really helpful if you can keep track of things. Do a mood chart if you want help with your mood, do a food and weight log if you want help with that, track your sleep if that is an issue. Believe it or not, even if you get no help from the doctor, something called the Hawthorne Effect suggests that by tracking these things you will see improvements.
3. Express concerns. On that list of things to talk about with your doctor, be sure to include any concerns that you have about past interactions, or any ideas you have about how to improve your working relationship with the doctor.
4. Help with communication. The fact is that it is very rare for two doctors working together with one patient to have as much interaction with each other as might be ideal. Trouble is that getting two doctors together by phone is very hard, and also insurance companies don’t pay anything for phone calls to other doctors. So, help by letting both doctors know what is going on in treatment. If that kind of indirect communication isn’t working (if the two doctors seem to be disagreeing with each other through you) then suggest that they have a conversation. Ask Doctor 1 what the best way is for him or her to talk to another doctor and pass that information on to the other doctor.
5. Be realistic. Doctors are just people. We do occasionally forget things. We can’t read minds. Helping us to help you is perfectly OK. And the right response to a question for one person may be exactly the wrong response for the next person. So, we need a little bit of help. Also, if you keep running into bad doctors talk to other people you know about their experiences with doctors and see if maybe your expectations need to be adjusted.
6. Move on. Once you have expressed your concern to the doctor, given him or her help to do a good job, and checked out your expectations with a friend, if you aren’t getting what you need, move on. Do have a final session – it is hard but it can be really useful, and if nothing else will help you make a transition to someone else better – but don’t stick in a relationship that you think is not working.