One of the factors that correlate with depression is a lack of resilience. With little resilience, we respond negatively when exposed to stress or trauma. This response then becomes a habit and is encoded in the brain.
Thanks to neuroplasticity, the brain has the ability to rewire and make new connections. According to Linda Graham, MFT in her article Bouncing Back :Rewiring the Brian for Maximum Resilience and Well-Being, we must follow the 5Cs of coping: calm, clarity, connections to resources, competence, and courage.
I took particular interest in her description of connections to resources. Graham believes that having a sense of bonding and developing healthy relationships with others increases our ability to be resilient in times of trouble. Relationships allow us to reflect on what we like about ourselves and feel as if we have a place in the world. It is the interactions with the mature prefrontal cortices of different human beings that allow our own prefrontal cortex to grow and repair.
However, there is a catch to the positive effects of relationships on resilience. The relationships must be positive and made with other resilient human beings. Spending time with people that do not demonstrate resilient traits will not lead to the improvement of our own resilience.Although we may be unaware at the time, we mirror the actions of those around us. If someone we are close to is very resilient, we are likely to mimic his or her behavior.
These role models are described by Graham as true others. True others are people who appreciate the essence of who we are. They accept our faults and embrace our inner goodness. Being around these kinds of people allows us to engage in self-love and learn to move forward in life, reborn with resilience.
Resilience allows individuals to take on different challenges with a positive and confident attitude. With a good support network and loving relationships, many problems in life will turn from mountains to molehills.
For more information check out the article on this website.