September is suicide prevention month, and there’s a lot of information available online. Overall, suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the United States. The vast majority of suicides are by gunshot, with suffocation next and poisoning third.
There Is Help Available
If you search the internet for “suicide prevention” one striking result is the number of formulas available: 3 C’s, 4 P’s, 10 steps, “tips for intervention”. People are trying hard and putting a lot of thought into suicide prevention. But one critical point that often gets missed is involvement.
That’s why I like the 3 C’s approach: Connection, collaboration, choice. If you are concerned about someone you know and love who you think may be suicidal, make a connection. Reach out. Ask. Don’t lecture, just listen. Let them know you get where they’re coming from.
Next is collaboration. Don’t try to “fix” someone’s problem. Collaborate with them in finding the right way forward. Consider what they say about their own experience, their own pain. Ask them what they need and what they would consider a useful next step.
Third: choice. Their choice, the sufferer’s, not the helper’s. Which of the possible ways forward make sense to them and feel to them like a positive move? When people begin to feel that they have choices, ways to make things better, the need to escape recedes.
Suicide can be prevented, both by suicidal persons themselves, and by people who love them. But it is not a simple matter, and it requires careful listening, compassionate imagination, and strong communication skills. Together we can make a difference.
More resources:
10 useful things you can do for suicide prevention