Love is something that if you give it away, give it away, you’ll end up having more…
Last Sunday at church there was a children’s chorus singing, and this was one of the songs.
It seemed very familiar…
The cultivation of loving-kindness (mettā bhāvanā) is a popular form of meditation in Buddhism.
In some Buddhist traditions, the meditator begins cultivating loving-kindness towards themselves, then their loved ones, friends, teachers, strangers, enemies, and finally towards all sentient beings.
In the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, this practice is associated with breathing out (“sending”) happiness and breathes in (“receiving”) suffering.
Of course, there are lots of good reasons to practice this as a spiritual discipline, but here we are interested in the notion that loving kindness practice can help people find their way through the troubled seas of depression.
Unlike mindfulness practice, there is less literature about Metta as a therapeutic practice… but in our experience it can be a great antidote to feelings of shame and isolation.
Try it.
These instructions come from a Yale site devoted to alternative health and healing –
“To begin, take a few moments to quiet your mind and focus your attention on the experience of loving kindness. You will begin by offering Metta to yourself. If distracting thoughts arise, acknowledge them, make a mental note to return to them after your Metta practice, but quickly move them aside to maintain concentration.
Recite the following phrases to yourself at a pace that keeps you focused and alert.
1. May I be safe and protected.
2. May I be peaceful and happy.
3. May I be healthy and strong.
4. May I have ease of well being (and accept all the conditions of the world)
Continue reciting the phrases in the first person.
Then when you are comfortable, try offering Metta to a beneficiary, someone who supports you, who has always “been on your side.” Forming visualizations of this person while reciting the phrases can be helpful; for example, imagining this beneficiary as a child or grandparent, can assist in ‘opening the heart.’
1. May s/he be safe and protected.
2. May s/he be peaceful and happy.
3. May s/he be healthy and strong.
4. May s/he have ease of well being (and accept all the conditions of the world)
Next offer Metta to a loved one.
1. May s/he be safe and protected.
2. May s/he be peaceful and happy.
3. May s/he be healthy and strong.
4. May s/he have ease of well being (and accept all the conditions of the world)
Once your Metta flows easily to a loved one, begin to include in your practice one or more of the following categories of persons to whom you will offer Metta:
- A close friend.
- A neutral person (someone you neither like nor dislike)
- A difficult person (no need to start with the most difficult person, but someone whom you have a distaste for)
- All beings, individuals, personalities, creatures (choose whichever word to describe all ‘beings’ that you please; it may be helpful to break up this category into subcategories; i.e., all men, and then all women, all enlightened ones, and then, all unenlightened ones, all beings who are happy, and then all beings who are both happy and suffering, and all beings who are primarily suffering.”
For more information check out these books and MP3’s.
- Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness by Sharon Salzberg
- Lovingkindness Meditation by Sharon Salzberg
- The Force of Kindness: Change Your Life with Love and Compassion Paperback by Sharon Salzberg
- The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness, and Peace Paperback by Jack Kornfield