Tips for managing holiday stress
How’s your holiday spirit? Dreading that time of year again, with all its mental health challenges? Have you already started planning how you will handle possible mood swings, holiday anxiety, or seasonal affective depression?
For many, if not most people, the holidays can be bittersweet. My own parents died many years ago, but it’s at Christmas that my most vivid memories come back and I miss having the family together (as it was then…) all over again. We often hear reminders that “for some people” the holidays can be a difficult time, but I think some level of sadness is built in to annual rituals for everyone. We are all mourning our lost childhood and the wonder and excitement that every day used to bring.
That’s why one of the biggest stressors of the season is not what you have to do, it’s how you are expected to feel. We berate ourselves for lacking the holiday spirit, or not having enough holiday “cheer” when cheeriness is not necessarily a realistic response to what’s going on.
Here are some more tried and true tips:
- Manage Expectations
Figure out what you want from the holidays, and what is realistic to hope for. Accept imperfection and learn to take delight in odd and unexpected moments when it all comes together, just for a few breaths. Nobody can sustain feeling cheery and joyful for a whole season. Those come in moments, not seasons.
- Make a budget and stick to it
Impulse buying is not your friend. What looks great in the store won’t always measure up when you get it home. If gift-giving is part of your holiday planning, take time to think it through beforehand. Remember that more, and more expensive, is not necessarily better. For kids, think about making memories. You might buy something, like a game you can play together, or it might be something like a special outing, or cooking or gardening together. It’s the memories they will keep, not the thing.
- Have a crisis plan
Confide in someone close to you about how they can help you look for early warning signs of depression, mania, or anxiety. Agree with them on what should be done in such cases and arrange for regular check-ins throughout the season. Just having a trusted person to talk things over with can make the difference between a difficult mood episode and a blip. Take your planning seriously.
- Remember, you can do this
Research from the American Psychological Association shows that while about 2 in 5 American adults say they experience heightened stress during the holiday season, most also said that they had workable coping mechanisms to handle it:
To manage the stress of the holiday season, nearly nine in 10 adults who reported experiencing stress at this time (88%) said they have coping mechanisms that help them handle it. A majority of adults who experience stress (70%) said they are comfortable talking with others about their stress during this time—although only 41% said they actually do so—while others focus on strategies such as managing their expectations (38%), reminding themselves that the season will pass (35%) or volunteering to help others (16%).
Fewer adults said they turn to negative or potentially harmful coping mechanisms during the holiday season. Close to two in five adults who experience stress during the holiday season (38%) said they use negative coping mechanisms such as isolating themselves (21%), changing their eating habits by overeating or restricting their diets (16%), or relying on substances such as alcohol or nicotine to feel better (13%).
Knowing what the coping techniques are and what to avoid is half the battle. With a little bit of planning and help from friends and loved ones, you can relax and enjoy a happy and memorable holiday season.