Health problems fundamentally challenge our sense of self and safety in the world. Those people who are able to maintain equanimity in the face of medical disease and aging are truly admirable.
There must be about a million articles about how to accomplish this – so I am not sure that what I have to say adds much to the literature – but here goes… This is my list of the things that seem to help.
- Generativity and Buildling the Future. Erik Erikson came up with the term “generativity” in the 1950’s to describe successful adaptation to being older. By it he meant the ability to invest in helping the next generation to build successful lives, and to find meaning in that activity. The MacArthur Foundation on successful adaptation to aging similarly found that volunteering was one key hallmark of successful aging.
- Physical activity. Refusing to retreat from physical activity, gently but consistently challenging oneself physically.
- Mental challenges. Solving problems, crosswords, Scrabble, publishing, writing blogs, engaging in active conversations (electronic or otherwise) with people who are challenging.
- Vibrant relationships. Having people who care but also challenge one. Something other than “there there.” Serious and thoughtful questions that derive from really listening.
- Getting help for depression. Depression and discouragement are potentially fatal in older age and when dealing with chronic medical conditions. It is easy to begin to accept decline without making any effort to continue to be challenged. And that is a one way ticket to unhappiness and poor health.
I would love to hear about your experiences. Please comment on this post.
Here are a few books from people who are very wise, and have thought about these questions a great deal –
Aging Well by George Vaillant. Dr. Vaillant spent his life following a group of Harvard students throughout their lives, and shares in this book what he learned in the process about successful lives, and unsuccessful ones.
Younger Next Year by Chris Crowley. This is an inspirational book designed to get you energized to face the challenges ahead. We can’t say it better than this – “Brain-rattling, irresistible, hilarious. If you’re up for it … it could change your life.” — The Washington Post
The Virtues of Aging by Jimmy Carter. Whatever you thought about him as a president, Jimmy Carter has to have been one of the most successful past presidents we have ever had. Thoughtful, engaged, deeply spiritual. This is a book to read carefully.
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