This past week
we had a chance to meet with a number of people who were very distressed when they first came to see us, and who made huge progress in creating lives worth living…. in living creatively with moods.
It got us to thinking about why they succeeded.
There are a number of reasons for their success – they made a commitment to “doing what it takes” to get well, they were willing to keep track of their progress (mood monitoring), and they found good partners to help them.
Partners are important because –
- None of us can really see things without distortion. The unconscious shapes our experience of the world. This means that we all need to get feedback from others so that we can correct these distortions..
- Change is hard and we often need motivation to do the work. People who give you kudos when you make progress and encourage you to try harder when you don’t are often useful (although you need to make sure that you retain responsibility for your success).
- We may ask partners to remind us of our commitments. (Again, these reminders need to be done at your request and to be provided in a way that you feel will be helpful rather than irritating).
- Occasionally we may be lacking in knowledge in certain areas – partners can provide us with information that may make change easier.
Look for partners among close friends, family you trust, professionals, others who are doing the same work (support groups). Choose wisely, these should be people who you trust. Entering into a partnership means that you agree to listen to what they have to say, so make sure that you value their opinions.
But don’t be shy, finding good partners is an important step, and if you are sincere in your intentions, you will likely find a number of people who are interested in helping.