From time to time we hear people complaining that they’re too dependent or that someone they know is too dependent on them. Usually the proposed solution is for that person to become more independent.
The trouble is that this doesn’t work. People who have normal needs for social interaction are not able to be independent in the way that we often think of independence – going it alone, not needing any support, etcetera.
Our experience working with lots of people who others would say are independent, suggests that how you get to be independent, is by having many many sources of support, so that no one source of support is essential.
Think of the person who is “too dependent” as like a stool with three legs, if that stool loses one leg, then stability is lost.
On the other hand, the so-called independent person is like a stool with 16 legs. That stool is not “dependent” on any one of its legs to remain stable. So someone who has been a source of support can 
drift away and it doesn’t cause any loss of stability.
The solution to being “too dependent” is to find more folks who can be a source of support.
Often part of that solution is trying to figure out what it is that has driven away people in the past.
It may be being overly clingy is part of the problem. Solving this problem may require a period of being “tough” and not asking for as much help as you would like, but the goal is not to end up comfortable with no support, but rather to have plenty of support.
And really, it is not the requests for help but the whole picture of a relationship that determines its health. This book is a good start to thinking about how to improve your friendships.