Money and Security

How much money does it take for someone to feel really secure? This seems like a sensible question. Certainly, many of us have been dealing with  insecurity because of a lack of money. In other words, there is a relationship between money and security. On the other hand, over the years, we have never run into anyone who managed to …

The Different Types of Vacations

This past weekend, we were at a Halloween party talking to a computer engineer who recently moved here from Holland.  The topic turned to a discussion of things that are unusual about Americans, in particular,  the American relationship to work and vacations.  We take less vacation than almost any industrialized country in the world.  Of course, we think it’s responsible …

Unemployment

What to do when you suddenly find yourself unemployed? Over the years, we’ve helped a bunch of folks through the challenge of unemployment. Those who have been the most successful have paid attention to a few factors: 1. Maintaining a Routine. One of the easiest ways to get in to trouble when you suddenly find yourself unemployed is to take …

Sick of Vacation

Hard working professionals go on vacation and immediately get sick. This doesn’t happen just once, it is regular and reliable. What is going on? If this has happened to you, you are getting a crash course on the physiology of the body’s stress response system, and some of its flaws. It was developed to deal with very different problems than …

Performance Anxiety

Fear of public speaking and performance anxiety are very common things. Probably almost all of us have had the experience of desperately wishing to relax before a presentation. This may be a situation where you should be careful of what you wish for. When I was younger I had a terrible fear of speaking in public. And my first job …

Night Shift

A young ER doctor came in to see us because he works the night shift, and found that he was having trouble getting enough good quality sleep, and also being alert enough during his shifts. He worked four or five night shifts in a row and then he had several days off. And his goal was to work 9 pm …

Stress, Distress and Eustress

We met this afternoon with a delightful young man who said he was having more anxiety and depression because of all of the stressful things that he had to deal with. He gave us a list, and, perhaps because we are natural skeptics, we started to wonder whether that list really explained what was going on. For one thing, as …

Dealing with Perfectionism

Society puts a premium on perfection, for good reason. Perfection fascinates and inspires. I am particularly drawn to the symmetry and complexity of buildings, bridges, and visual art, often staring at such creations with awe and wonder at how such perfection was achieved. In addition to architecture and art, perfection is expected in vocations where the slightest mistake could be …

The Practice of Tacking: How to Get Going

Sometimes it is important to get going. We generally think that it is wise to have a clear idea of where you want to go and to head towards that distant goal. However, sometimes we all find ourselves in situations where we have to “tack.” In sailing terms, tacking is how you sail into the wind. If you want to …

The Super Mood Stabilizer

From time to time we run across people who seem to do everything wrong, in terms of typical MoodSurfing strategies, but who nevertheless is living a very creative and successful life. Very often the reason they can get away with it is because they have the “Super Mood Stabilizer” – a sense of purpose, a clear sense of what they …

Successful Job Hunting

No we aren’t going to offer suggestions about how to find your next job (although there is a link below to the best book on the subject we know of – the classic “What Color is Your Parachute”). The point of this post is to share some of the key features of successful job hunters we have observed over many …