Why is it so hard to make positive changes in our lives? A woman we have been working with came in yesterday and told us about all of the things that she had been doing – making a serious effort to find a satisfying job and career, beginning to get healthy by exercising and joining weight watchers, working on her …
Self Compassion
I once worked with a lovely woman who had a personal assistant who yelled at her all day. She hurled insult after insult, screaming loudly in her ear things like—You’ll never get that done! There you go again, you idiot! Give it up, you’re never going to amount to anything! This is pointless, you may as well throw in the towel! …
Procrastination
Getting things done can be a real struggle when you are experiencing low mood. When we are depressed, we lack the energy and sense of pleasure or mastery that makes it possible to get essential tasks done. In addition, and perhaps most importantly, we often postpone getting things done until we feel like doing them. If you are feeling tired …
Breaking Up: How to Cope
Breaking up is hard. (At least for most people – we do know a couple of people – mostly guys – who seem to have made an art of it – but that is another post). There are things to do and to avoid doing that might make it less painful. 1. Think it through. At some point you are …
The Antidepressant without Side Effects
Medications for depression can be life saving, but for many people they have disturbing side effects. But there is one antidepressant that doesn’t have side effects – behavioral activation (BA). Behavioral activation is a treatment that has been shown to work for people with moderate and even severe depression and, in some studies, it works about as well as antidepressants. …
Why You Should Journal
We are strong believers in the value of paying attention. We define what is important in our lives by what we pay attention to. And if we don’t pay attention to things it is practically impossible to improve them. The kind of journal that we have in mind is one that pays attention to the shifts in mood during the …
Acceptance: Helpful Readings
Acceptance. We have been influenced by many people in setting up this website. One of those great thinkers is a man whose vision of psychotherapy was founded in acceptance, Carl Rogers. In his book On Becoming a Person he wrote: “The curious paradox is when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” This phrase has resonated …
Getting Where You Want to Go: Remembering Priorities and Problem-Solving
Successful time management is in large measure all about starting with the big things. This is how you go about almost any design and building process. With a kitchen remodel you begin with the major appliances, with a life remodel you build around your life goals. Some people find it helpful to think of the problem of how to fit …
Changing Bad Habits: Helpful Resources
If you talk to anyone who has worked to help people with serious bad habits (smoking, sex addiction, gambling, drug use) they will probably end up mentioning the “Stages of Change” model of Prochaska. The notion that people don’t just “flip a switch” and change was pretty revolutionary at the time, and the useful notion of stages of change: from …
MoodSurfing ™ 101 : Depression – Video Included
Part of the preparation for this site has been a lot of thinking about “what works” to help people live better lives with their moods. The most common problem people ask for help about is depression. We spent a few days looking through the clinical literature to identify non-medication options to improve depression. Then we put that into a YouTube …