Below you'll find a list of all posts that have been categorized as “Relationships”
Loneliness is implicated in shortened lifespans, worsened physical and mental health, addiction, economic disruption and homelessness, among others. Its spread constitutes a true public health crisis in the USA, and intervention is urgently called for. However, at present, only individual efforts are offered as a solution. Reach out. Make sure your elderly relatives are getting a phone call regularly. Join …
We’re coming up on a time of year that for many (maybe even most) people offers significant challenges. Now is the time to plan ahead for the difficulties you typically face during the holiday season, and call to mind coping strategies that have worked for you in the past, or new ones that you want to try. Depression is a …
Dependence: Problem or not? Consider the many ways you are dependent on others, on the Earth, and on the invisible structures of society to get by in life. Consider whether our culture’s constant harping on independence is realistic or healthy. Today, let’s explore the positive sides of being dependent. It may turn out to be the more realistic way of …
Tending to relationships is as important as watching cholesterol An 80-year-old longitudinal study of men, originally Harvard undergrads in the late 1930’s, looks at the determinants of good health, and has some surprising findings. Men who, in their 50’s felt “satisfaction” with their relationships with family, friends, and community had better overall health in the subsequent decades of life. Blood …
Loneliness is an important public health issue The American Medical Association has defined loneliness as a public health issue for all Americans. Why loneliness? Why public health? Loneliness is found across demographics, at every age level. It is not a matter of how many friends you have, rather, loneliness is feeling a lack of connection with other people. You may …
A discussion with a patient this past week really brought into focus the power of the mind to affect the world. Or maybe it would be better to say how we decide to live in the world. Our patient, I’ll call her “Amy”, is a teacher’s aide in a crowded, underfunded special ed. classroom, and she was saying she is …
Get close to the people you’re close to. We all know how easy it is to take people for granted, and everyone has had the experience of attending a funeral, or just hearing of someone’s death, and thinking “I wish I had told her I love her one more time!” But close relationships can also be draining, stressful, and many …
People without a partner are often anxious about getting “hooked up” ASAP before the biological clock runs out (this attitude affects men and women both). But people living with depression often find the dating pool to be a taxing and often futile place to be. How do you handle feeling pulled in two directions at once? On the one hand, …
Oxytocin is a neurohormone that is produced in the human brain and helps us form loving connections: mother-child bonds as well as the connections between romantic partners. When we are with a person who stimulates our oxytocin-producing neurological system, we feel warmed, supported, in a word: loved. However, making us feel loved doesn’t seem to be exactly the function of …
Four basic attachment styles determine the role you play in romance Do you cling to your partner, and take responsibility for their every happy or sad moment? Do you keep your partner at arm’s length, knowing that they may be gone forever any time now? Do you look at friends’ relationships and feel envious of how confident they are in …
What is a dating coach? Is it for you? Even without a pandemic, lots of us are uncertain, anxious, ambivalent, or just plain scared of getting back into the dating pool. We want a good relationship, but how to find the right person? Sign up for dating and relationship apps. Go out with friends of friends. Go to a matchmaker? …
Conflict happens in every relationship, no matter how good it is. The key to handling quarrels or conflict in a relationship is to recognize when one or both partners have entered an emotional hot spot, are activated, agitated, and defensive, and are unlikely to be able to continue the conversation without something being done to address how they are feeling. …
Privacy is a big issue nowadays, with everything we post online being available to the whole world forever, and stigma about mental illness is a painful reality for everyone. Even so, many people think carefully about disclosing some information about their diagnosis to others, both on- and off-line. Should you “come out” about a mental illness diagnosis? What will happen? …
Americans with bipolar are more likely than Europeans to marry someone with a similar diagnosis, according to a study by Robert M. Post, MD, of the Bipolar Collaborative Network, Bethesda, Maryland, and the department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences, George Washington University. Post and colleagues recruited volunteers with bipolar I from four cities in the USA and three cities in …
Sharing information about a diagnosis, disclosure, can be a constant tension for people with bipolar. On the one hand, you need a support network that includes family, friends, co-workers and even employers. On the other hand, any or all of these people may create more difficulties, or even be a part of the problem from the beginning. Dr. Cannon Thomas …
Moodsurfing has often focused on improving the quality of intimate relationships, in a therapy session today I explored with a young woman the difference between checking up on her partner and building a more intimate and connected relationship. Early in a relationship it is pretty common to have anxiety about the other person. Are they really committed to the relationship, …
Do you have a five-year plan? Are you a goal-setter or do you prefer to “muddle through”? For some the idea of making a written life plan is a no-brainer, while for others it sounds like an idea from an alien planet. Making a plan for the future is a strategy that can help when life feels chaotic and directionless. …
Why is there such a difference between being alone or lonely? Sometimes there’s nothing more desirable than to take a break from a good hectic and demanding life in order to enjoy some peaceful solitude. And other times the idea of being alone taps into a terrible fear that perhaps we are unlovable. Several years ago I was sitting with a …
When an elderly father starts to accuse his caring daughter of being devious, this sudden change in their relationship is what I call “crazy talk.” It can happen in almost any relationship, and it is hardest to deal with when it takes place in a very close relationship. A common reaction is to feel that it is important to convince …
Are you in a relationship breakup? Breaking up can be a real “moodsurfing time” in ones life – ups are more up and downs are more down. The loss of a marriage or intimate partnership can feel like a death in the family, and you have to give yourself permission to grieve the lost relationship, even as you look forward …
