One of the best ways of helping people MoodSurfing successfully is to look closely at the shape of their mood waves. Often when we talk to someone about this idea they are perplexed. Waves are waves right? If you have a depression wave then you should do one thing and if you have a manic wave you do something else. …
Yoga
Many people we know report that beginning yoga and doing it consistently has been associated with periods of remarkable stability, energy and effectiveness. There are studies supporting yoga as an evidence based approach to the treatment of depression. But it is hard to figure out where to begin. At the end of this page are some additional resources. One thing …
Music and Mood
People naturally turn to music to change or improve their moods. There are surprisingly few studies on this. But those studies that do exist confirm what we already know, music can definitely affect our mood. Enough of the science, if we know music affects mood, how can we use that knowledge to “moodsurf” better? One thing that we have discovered …
Breaking Up: How to Cope
Breaking up is hard. (At least for most people – we do know a couple of people – mostly guys – who seem to have made an art of it – but that is another post). There are things to do and to avoid doing that might make it less painful. 1. Think it through. At some point you are …
Impossible Jobs
In this world, there are two kinds of jobs: Jobs that one could perhaps do adequately, and jobs that are impossible. For whatever reason, a lot of folks’ we know tend to prefer impossible jobs. Maybe because they’re more exciting and interesting. The key to an impossible job is recognizing that no person could do all the work that falls …
“Too Dependent”
From time to time we hear people complaining that they’re too dependent or that someone they know is too dependent on them. Usually the proposed solution is for that person to become more independent. The trouble is that this doesn’t work. People who have normal needs for social interaction are not able to be independent in the way that we …
Heroism
Heroism can be bad for your health. We know, we’ve been there. It starts with a positive feeling about someone or some group of people, then there is the recognition that they have suffered injustice (or are suffering for some other reason) and ends up in a wish to solve their problem (s). What a wonderful world it would be …
Narcissism
“You’re such a narcissist!” It’s easy to see why people with moods are often accused of being narcissistic. When we are depressed we become focused on ourselves and our mood and our pain. This is also what happens to people with chronic pain of other types. And when we are manic, we become preoccupied with our importance and specialness. But …
Crisis Prevention
If you are feeling OK but planning on making some changes that might affect your mood, now is the time to do a little prevention work. A young man we know decided to go to visit his guru in Sri Lanka. It was a wonderful trip and changed his life for the good. It might have turned into a catastrophe …
The Best Relaxation Technique
OK, that may be an exaggeration. But it may not. In any event, Progressive Muscle Relaxation is the technique that we have had the most success with, and we have tried many of them. Many people we know use these techniques every night before lying down for sleep and find that it helps them to have a much more restful …
Mood and Food
Many people have an intuitive sense that a good diet is a foundation stone of good mental health. We don’t disagree, although the evidence for dietary manipulation’s effectiveness is not overwhelming. There are a couple of things that we have noticed over the years about food and its effect on mood that might be useful tips. For one thing, simple …
Anxiety or Excitement?
Many folks not only have to figure out how to live creatively with moods, but also have to wrestle with anxiety. I have found that it is sometimes useful to compare two states of mind which are very, very similar in terms of how the body is reacting, but are very different from an emotional standpoint. Imagine that you are …
Self-Consciousness: You Can’t Fool Yourself
Many years ago we read a book by renowned social psychologist George Herbert Meade entitled Mind, Self and Society. In it Meade wrote about the origins of self-consciousness in childhood experiences. If you follow the development of children you notice that at first they act as though they and the world are one, with no apparent sense of others (especially …
The Antidepressant without Side Effects
Medications for depression can be life saving, but for many people they have disturbing side effects. But there is one antidepressant that doesn’t have side effects – behavioral activation (BA). Behavioral activation is a treatment that has been shown to work for people with moderate and even severe depression and, in some studies, it works about as well as antidepressants. …
Riding the Waves
MoodSurfing is about the idea that the ups and downs of mood are normal (we aren’t trying to achieve some elusive “stability”). But dealing with moods requires focus, discipline and some common sense. You can’t go to Maverick on your first day surfing and not get hurt (see photo to the right). The first step for many people is to …
Negotiation: How to Deal With Conflict
Some of the best ways of dealing with conflicts in relationships, whether business or personal, are contained in the books about negotiation written by Roger Fisher and William Ury. In our own lives and in the lives of people we have counseled we have often seen a situation that seemed to be incredibly scary and full of potential catastrophe turn …
Why You Should Journal
We are strong believers in the value of paying attention. We define what is important in our lives by what we pay attention to. And if we don’t pay attention to things it is practically impossible to improve them. The kind of journal that we have in mind is one that pays attention to the shifts in mood during the …
Morning Routine
For people learning to live with moods, it is often very important how the day starts. The morning sets the stage for the rest of the day and, for instance, we know that one of the best ways of getting depressed, is lying in bed after you wake up for the first time thinking about how you really “should” get …
Mood Charting Part 2: Monitoring Mood
What is monitoring and mood monitoring? Monitoring is way of becoming aware of what is happening in a certain circumstances. For example, a parent may monitor how much milk the child is drinking, a person who is dieting may monitor what they are eating or a person exercising may monitor how much they exercise a day. All these people have …
Endless Worry: Books to Help Manage It
Sometimes life circumstances, or our own mood, conspire to lead us into a state of endless worry. We never seem to be able to figure anything out, and the anxiety makes it increasingly difficult to get anything done. One strategy that we often recommend is to schedule worry time. It sounds crazy, but putting aside time each day to worry …