Below you'll find a list of all posts that have been tagged as “relationships”
Strong, stable personal relationships are of great importance to people struggling with moods. Take a minute to reflect on your own experience in this area. Do the people you have important, intimate relationships with help or hinder your mood stability? Two recent conversations with patients helped us drive this point home. On the same day we met with two men …
Get close to the people you’re close to. We all know how easy it is to take people for granted, and everyone has had the experience of attending a funeral, or just hearing of someone’s death, and thinking “I wish I had told her I love her one more time!” But close relationships can also be draining, stressful, and many …
People without a partner are often anxious about getting “hooked up” ASAP before the biological clock runs out (this attitude affects men and women both). But people living with depression often find the dating pool to be a taxing and often futile place to be. How do you handle feeling pulled in two directions at once? On the one hand, …
Conflict happens in every relationship, no matter how good it is. The key to handling quarrels or conflict in a relationship is to recognize when one or both partners have entered an emotional hot spot, are activated, agitated, and defensive, and are unlikely to be able to continue the conversation without something being done to address how they are feeling. …
Privacy is a big issue nowadays, with everything we post online being available to the whole world forever, and stigma about mental illness is a painful reality for everyone. Even so, many people think carefully about disclosing some information about their diagnosis to others, both on- and off-line. Should you “come out” about a mental illness diagnosis? What will happen? …
Vulnerability! If your first response is “Ummm, no, thanks”, you’re not alone. Vulnerability sounds like something we want to get away from, not something to cultivate. Yet researcher Dr. Brené Brown of the University of Houston has done considerable study of this topic and her findings are that being or becoming vulnerable to risk, to emotional upset, to shame and …
Sharing information about a diagnosis, disclosure, can be a constant tension for people with bipolar. On the one hand, you need a support network that includes family, friends, co-workers and even employers. On the other hand, any or all of these people may create more difficulties, or even be a part of the problem from the beginning. Dr. Cannon Thomas …
Moodsurfing has often focused on improving the quality of intimate relationships, in a therapy session today I explored with a young woman the difference between checking up on her partner and building a more intimate and connected relationship. Early in a relationship it is pretty common to have anxiety about the other person. Are they really committed to the relationship, …
Why is there such a difference between being alone or lonely? Sometimes there’s nothing more desirable than to take a break from a good hectic and demanding life in order to enjoy some peaceful solitude. And other times the idea of being alone taps into a terrible fear that perhaps we are unlovable. Several years ago I was sitting with a …
When an elderly father starts to accuse his caring daughter of being devious, this sudden change in their relationship is what I call “crazy talk.” It can happen in almost any relationship, and it is hardest to deal with when it takes place in a very close relationship. A common reaction is to feel that it is important to convince …
Are you in a relationship breakup? Breaking up can be a real “moodsurfing time” in ones life – ups are more up and downs are more down. The loss of a marriage or intimate partnership can feel like a death in the family, and you have to give yourself permission to grieve the lost relationship, even as you look forward …
This is a wonderful blog, and I particularly liked this post about friends. We tend to think of friends on a single dimension of “good” or “bad” but different friends meet different needs… My friends are one of the greatest blessings in my life. We have weathered many storms, and celebrated many victories. I learn from each of them on …
Cynical hostility is a personality style of cynicism and anger mismanagement in social relationships. Sometimes called chronic anger, it is associated with mistrust and weakened social support networks. In a recent study, researchers from France and University College London looked at data from a long-term study of 3,399 British civil servants. Those in the top 25% of cynical hostility levels were over four-and- a-half …
Coming Out Proud is the name of a program that was developed Patrick Corrigan to help people with a “mental illness” think through the risks and benefits of disclosure, and come up with a strategy that not only fits their values but avoids some of the many pitfalls of greater honesty about bipolar or depression. The full program takes you …
I’ve been working with a very successful attorney who has been struggling to find a way to stay in his marriage for a couple of years. The heart of the matter is that his wife had a serious health problem, which is now resolved. Through the process of dealing with this health problem she probably became depressed and certainly became …
Mindful speech seems to be in short supply these days. A pervasive sense of urgency about communication propels us into comments that we later regret. Rick Hanson reminds us of the words of Buddha, wise speech always has five characteristics. It is: Well-intended – Born of goodwill, seeks to support and strengthen rather than belittle and criticize. True – Not overstated, taken out …
Many family members I speak with struggle with the question of how to best support a loved one with bipolar. As a loved one, it can be incredibly stressful to battle with unknowns, one’s own anxiety and feelings of helplessness. People are understandably eager for information that can equip them with tools to help. I have found there are numerous things …
Many of the people I see feel that it’s very hard to get support for their depression. They may find it hard to talk about the subject altogether or they may have had some experiences that suggests that “people just don’t want to know.” This morning I saw several people with depression and bipolar and what struck me was that …
What to do when a loved one is refusing necessary medical care? Is an “intervention” the answer, or can sustained, loving, attention accomplish the same goals?
Loving someone bipolar can seem like an overwhelming challenge at times. A quick survey of the internet combined with years of conversations with loved ones struggling to navigate the sometimes stormy waters, yields a great diversity of perspectives. Julie Fast, a well known bipolar writer, describes her experience living with her partner during a manic episode… Years ago, my much-loved …
